Bloopers and Scence's that you don't see on FMA
by Scenro
Summary: Did you ever wonder what the cast of Fullmetal alchemist did or said? or even what they thought of each other? Also there are bloopers of scenes just gone wrong. Enjoy! Please read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

Deleted Bloopers and scenes you don't see on FMA.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. And these POV's aren't really those Of the real actors. If they are… whoa.. Scary. O.o

Scene Number 1:

Edward sat on the stage ready when the director gave him the signal. He screwed up his face with a serious expression as he looked at Cornelio, the one he was in a scene with currently. The director giving the signal he began to speak.

"My name is Cupid and I'm an alcoholic."

The set grew quite upon Edward's words.

"What the hell?" the director screamed aloud only to watch an Edward rolling on the floor laughing his head off and a quite perplexed Cornelio.

Scene number 2:

"Oh shit!! I am sooo sorry!! Edward nooo wait speak to me seeeeaaaaaappppkkkk!!!"

Winry stood at the set after running on when it wasn't her turn. In fact it was the scene where Envy had just killed Edward. But what she wasn't aware of was that it was really a stunt double that lay dead on the floor. But where was Edward?

Edward sat in the bathroom reading the funnies in the Sunday newspaper.

Uhh.. Winry.. That's not Edward…" the director said and pointed to a porter potty." He's in there.."

"Oh.." she said and blushed leaving the stunt double dead on the floor and walking away.

Scene number 3:

"Brother brother!!" A suite of armor that was playing Alphonse ran behind Edward who was at a scene walking along a path in what looked like the middle of now where.

"Brother brother!!"

The suite of armor screamed aloud again.

Edward didn't bother to respond, after all, it wasn't in his script and he got a notice already that the director would take away his pay if he screwed up again.

"Brother brother!!" the suite of armor continued.

A moment passed and the armor still had not caught up nor did he stop yelling for Edward.

"Brother brother!!"

He continued. Edward continued to walk.

"Brother brother!!"

It continued.

"Brother brother!!"

Edward finally began to loose his temper. If that suite of armor said that one more time he swore he woul-.

"Brother brother!!"

"WHAT GOD DAMNIT!!!" Edward screamed finally cracking and wishing he could strangle him

"…"

"….."

"……."

"..what?!?!!?"

"…uh….I smells pine needles and jello… is it Christmas yet?"

Edward was ready to kill that armor, character or not, but unfortunately the director got to the armor first ripping it apart and throwing it in the dumpster. Edward was pleased. The director was pleased. The annoyance was gone.

And there was much rejoicing.

"yyyaaaayyyy…."

Scene number 4

Envy sat at a card table bored out of his mind with the actors who played Greed, Gluttony and Lust. Ironically they were all actors and Envy was the only one who's name was actually Envy.

"So Envy, I hear you got the stuff last night." Greed exclaimed eagerly.

"Stuff? What stuff?" Envy looked blank at the notion.

"You know the stuff…" Greed said as if prodding Envy for information, but to all honesty Envy had no idea what he was talking about.

"Stuff! Stuff!" the person who played Gluttony said aloud. He really did talk like that.

"I don't know what your talking about.." Envy said slowly and still confused.

"The stuff god damnit!! " Lust screamed loosing her patients as she was PMSing.

"I don't know what stuff you talking about!!! What stuff?!?!?"

Greed sighed as well as Gluttony and Lust who followed.

"You know for being an evil and sinister character, he's not very good at being it in real life."

"WHAT STUFF?!?!?!"

Gluttony and Lust nodded in agreement.

"ok deal out the cards." Greed said and watched as Lust did so and Envy still tried to figure out what the "stuff" Greed was speaking of.

((YAYZ!! I started this at midnight and finished in a half hour. WOOO! Oh well here's a quick fic. Funny. I think so. I had to put it in the format I did though so would not delet it so sorry if it confused some of you. Anyways please review!! I'm not sure if I should continue with more scenes. If so tell me and perhaps a parody you would like to see? Either way. Please review!!))


	2. Chapter 2

Deleted Bloopers you don't See on Fma Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Fma, but the Christmas song that I threw in here, I do own.. in a sense. My brother and I made it up a few years back. So enjoy!

Scene number 5:

"I hear a song coming on!!!!" Alphonse screamed out with joy.

"oh great." Edward smacked his hand to his head and rolled his eyes.

"Sledding down a hill,

Crashing into trees,

Opps I lost an Arm,

Damn I hurt my knees,

I think I heard a crack

Don't know if it's my back.

Our heads are spinning wildly,

I think I'll take a nap!

Oh! Jingle bel--"

Alphonse was quickly disposed of for singing the obnoxious song by some other force unforeseen by science.

"HEY!" Edward screamed. "I'M NOT THAT SMALL!! GRRRR!!!"

Scene Number 6

" wow.. it's almost new years isn't it?" said a benevolent Scar who didn't act so benevolent when out of character.

"yup.. it sure is…" Replied a bored Roy who continued to light fireworks on fire and watch them explode in the sky.

"Yup.." replied a just as bored Edward who began to make origami creatures for no particular reason at all.

"so.." Roy spoke up. " What is your new years uhh… revolution?...is that it?"

Edward shrugged.

"…"

"…."

"…"

"…"

"To destroy all state alchemist in real life or show!! MWHAHHAHAHHA!!!" Scar said running at Edward and Roy and blowing there brain out.

And the director was happy for the peace and quite. Than Scar killed the director. And there was much rejoicing with booze and nuts.

"…yyaaaayyyy….."

Scene number 7

(a/n: I know dosen't prefer this particular format, but I can't help it…-.-…)

Author: It's almost my birthday!!!

Everyone:-blank stares-…

Author:…-teary eyed-…waahhh?...

Alphonse: … like we care….

Prinny: yeah Dood!!

Author: GRRR!!! -throws Prinny at Fullmetal Alchemist cast and everything went boom! And the Author rejoiced and had a wonderful birthday.

"…yyaaaayyyy…."

(A/N: ignore that last part if you wish.. just something I threw in to fill up space. And it is almost my birthday… so yeah. ; )

((well done.. I guess… sorry if this was a little short and to my opinion, not as funny as the first, but whatever. Please Review!! ))


	3. Chapter 3

Fullmetal Alchemist Bloopers and Behind the Scenes,…Scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist….Sorry guys, it just isn't possible for someone writing these to own anything.. –sighs-

Scene 8::Drastic Measures taken to lightly

Everyone was quiet on the set as they got ready for an important scene. It was the scene in which Ed and Al find Nina as a transformed Chimera.

Ed held Tucker by his collar.

Ed: You sick basterd! How could you do this to your own daughter!!

Throwing his fist back to punch him once again with the metallic arm prop, he got ready for the line Al was to perform.

Alphonse: Ed don't!!

Al said as he grabbed Edward's arm.

Edward: Al this…man…..uh…….

Alphonse:..huh?...

Edward:…..

Unsure of how to act in such an odd scene, Edward decided to wing it.

Edward: Alphonse!! Your body!! It's Back!!! How!!???...

Alphonse with body back:…..

Director: …. SHIT!! You Idiots You put the wrong Alphonse out!! This is still supposed to be the tin can's theme!!! Not this boy's!!

Alphonse suite or armor: T-T-Tin Can?!? –Gets depressed-

Scene 9:The Other Brother Elric's Part 2 Episode Parody

Edward stood ready to fight, before the fraud Russell claiming to be him.

"I don't like mysteries, and this is one I'm going to get to the bottom of."

Russell snorted and began to quickly run towards Ed.

They fought for long exchanging snide remarks towards one another until one finally got to Edward's nerves.

"It would be good practice for fighting someone shorter than myself." Russell said making an error he would regret.

Edward twitched. Even though he only acted the part of Edward Elric, short jokes still got to him.

"you really really should not have said that."

Russell smirked "oh and why is that?"

" because…. I WILL KILL YOU!!!!"

He began running towards Russell in blind rage not carrying if he was just playing the part of the character or not. I mean after all, they could always find another person to play Russell.

Russell ran at too him only because he did not know what to do and he forgot his lines.

Ed Attacked.

"HHHHHHHHAAAYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-………….?"

With one small kick Russell had tripped over Edward's leg and went flying into the opposite side of the room. Edward turned around in time to see what Russell really was as he heard two loud thumps.

Two small midgets crawled out of a suite that had once been Russell.

Russell Midget: OH SHIT!! WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE FRED!!THERE ON TO US!!

Fred Midget: RIGHT BEHIND YOOUUU!!!

Ed: ……… ……… ………… ………… ………. –dumbfounded-

Scene 10: Greed's Prank

"Hey guys!! Guys!!" Greed called out to Lust, Roy, and Edward who had currently been walking by.

"Hey guys!! Want to see something funny?" He called again.

Lust, Roy, and Edward looked at him and shrugged walking over to him anyway.

"Sure.. what now huh?" Roy asked looking bored.

Greed grinned enthusiastically as he stood next to a porter potty.

"Watch this."

With one kick he knocked the porter potty over and with a loud slush and a scream from someone inside it fell over.

Roy smirked, Ed Bawled laughing and Lust sighed not finding the tipping very funny.

Until…

A crying and sniveling and covered in…shit, Envy crawled out of the tipped porter potties door. A river of …well you know… came flowing out as he opened the door.

Greed was dying of laughter, Roy began to laugh his head off, Edward died, and Lust ACTUALLY began to laugh.

Envy looked up at the four, tears in his eyes as he got up and ran away sobbing.

"NOBODY LIKE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

Scene 11: Scene #4 Part 2

"WHAT STUFF GUYS?!!? IO REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT!!!"

Envy was now at gun point from all the other characters.

"GIVE IT UP PINETREE!!" Greed growled holding the large revolver to Envy's head.

"You know that hurts my feelings when you say that Greed!!" Envy sniffled.

Fed up with Greed's pointless force Lust decided to use her own weapon.

Greed and Gluttony and even Envy stared paranoid and amazed as they watched what she had.

Lust, taking out the most potent weapon of all to men and boys smiled.

"HERE BOYS!!" she taunted loudly waving them in the air.

Greed, Gluttony, and Envy only stared.

"C'mon and get em'! There freshly baked and ready to serve."

She moved closer to them.

They only stared.

"Lust…uh…. . ……" Greed began but than his words trailed off.

"have some… its not too hot…."

Envy died.

Gluttony ran off scared.

Greed stared.

"Uhh…."

"What's the matter big boy?"

"….uh….."

"Have some…."

"…"

"WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Greed died. Lust laughed.

"AHHAHAHA!! What did you think I….hahaha… meant!! Hahaha!!!...hahaha…haha….ha…..Greed?...uh.. GRRREEEEEDDDDDD?..."

Sees Greed dead.

. 

. 

Walks away.

Scene: It's St. Patrick's DAY!!!

Edward sat in his trailer. With his extra time, he was finally able to try on his leprechaun suit he had ready for the occasion of his next show he would be doing. He finally had the suit on and had temporarily died his hair orange when he looked in the mirror. He was pleased to see that he might get the part in the show with his costume.

Not expecting anyone to enter without knocking he froze and stared as Winry, Roy, And Riza came through the door… and stared.

"What are you doing?"

"….."

Slowly they closed the door after seeing the only answer they would get was his stare. Their minds wandered off thinking, "leprechaun fetish" or" I wonder where his pot of gold is..." as they left.

(A/N): Wow,.. I've lost my touch. –sighs- oh well. I hope you at least enjoyed some of this. The porter potty tipping one is based off a true story sadly. XD Ah well please review!! Oh and Happy St. Patrick's DAY!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Fullmetal Alchemist Bloopers Part 4**

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist Bloopers are back!!!

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I don't normally do until winter early fall. –shrugs- I let the seasons do the writing for me. Please R&R!!

Scar - ENCOUNTER

Scar stood in the middle of the alley way staring down his opponent, Edward Elric.

"You are a State Alchemist…." He spoke his eyes glaring behind his sun glasses.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Edward stood confronting his enemy.

"State Alchemist's ruined my life… you shall die!" Scar ran at Edward grabbing his arm.

Edward braced himself.

"I shall start with your arm. Allow me to destroy It." and with Scar's own alchemy skills he destroyed Edward's arm with a series of combustion.

"…."

"…..:"

" OH BEEP Son of a BEEP you Fricken BEEP BEEP!!!!!! That's my real BEEPIN arm!!! We don't have real BEEPIN prosthetics on this show!!! They just look real!! You BEEP!!"

While continuously yelling Edward fell over his arm socket bleeding all over the set and staining the beautiful table cloth that kept the cameras from sliding.

Camera Men: throw up all over the place BLLLAAAUUURRGGGHHH!!!

Director: ….. Slaps hand to forehead

KAWAII

Roy, Riza and Winry, who didn't have parts in the particular episode being shot sat around bored.

Roy yawned half to annoy Riza and Winry and Half because he needed to.

The two girls stared at him.

"You know…" Roy began to speak, but just as soon as he started a girl driving a yellow vespa and wielding an electric guitar suddenly blew through the wall at random. With one great swing of her great guitar and the rev of the vespa she knocked the guitar across Roy's head letting the sound reverberate around the room.

Roy helplessly flung backwards crashing through the wall as Riza and Winry watched in awe.

KLANK CRASH BOOM

The girl disappeared and Riza and Winry were left looking through a few crashed through walls only to end up starring at a Roy with kitty ears.

"…"

"…"

Both girls suddenly screamed.

"KWWWAAAAIIIII!!!!"

And attacked the helpless Roy.

Operation Mole Hole

"This is it" Edward exclaimed. "We should be under the center of the house now"

"Are you sure brother?" a very nervous Alphonse questioned.

"No.. but we have to come out somewhere."

With one swift movement of alchemy Edward and Alphonse now stood in a shaft and looked into a canal.

"What is this stuff?" Alphonse asked staring at the strange red water that ran in the canal.

"I don't know. I- .. Cough Cough OH I'm DYING!!! Cough Cough OH THIS IS THE END!!! HELP MEEE!! I'm MELTING!!!" Edward spoke.

Alphonse stared at him.

"Uhh Ed you said your line too…"

"GOOD BYE CRUEL WOLRD!!! I WILL ALWAYS LEAVE MY ESSENCE WITH YOU!! Cough Cough!!"

"Uh….Ed.. you said your line too.."

"NUUU!! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!"

"….."

"IN MY WILL!!! TELL BRAD PIT HE'S CREEPY!!!"

"…"

"AND TELL GEORGE W. BUSH THAT HE IS CORRUPTING THE WORLD WITH EVIL!!!!"

"…"

" AND TELL MY MOTHER I LOVE HER!! AND THAT FRED CAN HAVE MY STEREO!! AND THAT BOB CAN HAVE MY TV!!! AND WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS ED ANYWAY?!?! AND TELL MY GOLDFISH THAT I'LL MISS THEM!! AND-"

"EDWARD!!!!"

"…what?"

"Aren't you over doing it a little too much?"

"…over doing what?"

"…." Al than punched a salami through Edward's head and threw him into the red water canal.

"HEY!!! That was our last Ed! Now you go fish him out!!!" The director yelled at the big tin can.

With that Alphonse grumbled as he fished out his brother.

Depress- Ed

Edward sat in the corner very depressed.

Alphonse noticed this and walked over to see what was the matter.

"Brother what's wrong?"

"How many times do I have to tell you idiot! Your not my brother when were not in character… and anyway even if I told you, you would never understand."

"Don't say that brother, I can still help."

Edward sighed both in annoyance and the fact that he had no energy to deal with the annoyance.

"Alright, well you see Roy has been getting all the attention of all the girls and I don't understand why!! I mean I'm the main character!! I should be the one getting all the attention!!"

"…" Alphonse thought for a moment not really knowing why until he saw Roy's Kitty ears.

" I mean I still have your support right Al? … Al?" Edward turned around to see the big tin can hugging Roy to death and nuzzling his cat ears.

"Great…. Well I hope he crushes him to death.." Edward muttered and continuing his depression.

FRUIT PUNCH

Touching the wall Russell pulled out a hose transmuted to come from the red water canal.

"Red water from the tap, with this even if your doused with it you'll be more than unconscious." Said Russell cockily.

"Bring it on!!" Edward said transforming his arm into a giant metallic umbrella.

The red water flew in all direction as it ricocheted off of the umbrella. Unfortunately some had fallen to the ground and Edward did the unimaginable thing and tripped falling backwards and into the red water.

Everyone gasped.

Edward sat in the small puddle of red water looking quite pleased as he spoon-fed himself the believed to be toxic liquid.

"You guys gotta try this!! I mean seriously!!!"

Alphonse, Russell, and Fletcher stared blankly in horror at Edward.

"Your still alive?..." Russell said breathless.

The other two questioned silently.

"What are you guys talking about? Its fruit punch!!!"

Everyone relaxed except for Russell, who was still confused. Edward stood up and sat in a fancy leather chair with a note pad and pen and ordered Russell to sit on the couch nearby.

"And you know that philosopher stone you have? It's really rock candy that the director found under the couch your sitting on. I mean it's so jagged, it's not a stone. Stone's are smooth. And you know the father image you're supposed to be fighting for? He's gay. And you know your brother Fletcher? He's not real. And you really want to know why your mother left you? And-"

8 Hours later

At this point everyone had cleared the set and gone home for the night except for Russell and Edward who continued to give counseling and revealing the truth. Russell would never be the same again.


End file.
